“You’re Going To Want That Tooth” (Survivor 3/12 – Spoilers)

Random Thoughts about tonight’s Survivor episode:

Recap shows the story of two strong (HA!) tribes who keep sending Brenden and Taj to Exile Island. I smell the theme of tonight’s episode being set up.

“They made plans to strengthen their alliance”… by including the two wimpiest people in their tribes to work with.

Taj didn’t have a chance to look for the HII, but Brenden found his stuck in the ass of the Tree Mail Idol. Early guess is that Brendan has a chance to give his idol to Taj, but doesn’t. She goes home.

“I’ve never brought such pleasure to a woman before.” Not something you want to admit on national TV. Even in jest. Especially to Eddie George’s wife.

Too much early emphasis on the idol. It must play a huge part in tonight’s show. If not, I’m deleting all this tomorrow.

“Why the sad frown?” “Because everyone feels the need to give me a prostate exam!”

She found it! Forget what I said earlier. Just start reading from here.

Uh oh. Stephen’s playing the “Possession is 9/10ths” rule. Taj is going home tonight, and it’s because he won’t give it up.

That tapir still creeps me out. Might be fun to take to a party, though.

Those Charmin commercials with the bears are just…wrong.

Sierra: “I’m proud of myself. I’ve formed an amazing alliance.” You did? When? Oh, you mean the one that was formed before anybody bothered to tell you about it?

Probst: “Sandy voted out at the last Tribal Council.” Coach:”Only a matter of time.” Pot, meet kettle.

Is someone going to puke? I bet someone pukes. I know I would.

The Charmin Cafe???? OMG. I hope you don’t have to watch bears wipe their asses while you eat.

“A modern toilet and plenty of Charmin.” I don’t know why that literally made me laugh out loud. Jeff, they don’t pay you enough.

I bet Tyson isn’t paying attention to any of this.

Who was it on Big Brother that got spun around, tried to walk, fell down and sliced his head open? Wasn’t it that FBI guy?

Coach is guiding Erinn with his eyes.

Jalapeno wins reward!

Brendan chooses Stephen to go to Exile. Assistant Coach Tyson is suspicious. Doesn’t pay attention at Tribal, but keeps track of who goes to Exile with who.

Pick a trip to Brazil, or to the Survivor Finale. Hmmm. Tough choice.

Product placement the past couple of seasons has been too much. “Got any napkins?” “No, use the Charmin.”

They’re not really more excited about the Charmin than the food, are they? That’s just editing, right? Right?

No, Joe, Taj has not had the opportunity to create a tighter bond with her tribe, but she’s had the opportunity to find the Hidden Immunity Idol. If Stephen gives it to her, of course.

Wait…what’s that? More Charmin? No! Letters from home! I bet Taj gets autographed pictures of Eddie George to hand out to everybody.

Everybody’s getting all weepy about people they haven’t seen for, what…two weeks? I’ll be right back. Martini time.

I’ll bet Taj’s letter from Eddie starts, “You know all my millions that I invested with Madoff?” No wonder she’s crying.

Tyson’s got Brendan figured out! Bastard!

“If we merge, he’s got control of the game. And I’m just a bystander. And I certainly don’t want that to happen.” Too late, Coach. It’s happened.

Coach the Weatherman. And as accurate as the guy on channel 69.

Didn’t anyone tell the CBS graphics guy that Exile is not on an island? Everyone else is just calling it “Exile”.

Stephen is definitely going to keep the HII from Taj.

Spencer isn’t telling Sydney he’s gay. Although she probably already thinks he is because he’s not flirting with her.

The ol’ Ball Launch Immunity Challenge! How boring!

Joe hurt his knee back there, with subtitles. Does this mean he loses the challenge for them later?

JT loses a tooth. He doesn’t care. He’s from the south, where that happens all the time.

Probst wants to stop and find the tooth. Otherwise they have to come up with another catchy title for the episode.

What? They actually found it? And Probst puts it in his pocket? LOL!!

JT says it’s Spencer’s fault. But JT misses the last ball. Ha! Sacrificed that tooth for nothing. Tempura wins immunity! Crap. We’re stuck with Coach for another week.

Shut up, Taj! Stephen’s not going to give up the idol!

Wait…they’re saying she’s next to go. That means it’s Spencer.

Isn’t that the same shirt Probst had on last week? Isn’t he rich or something?

Oops. Jeff called it “Exile Island”.

They never showed Stephen not giving the HII to Taj. That means Spencer’s toast.

WHAT!!!! DAMN YOU, TIVO!!! WHERE’S F’ING TRIBAL COUNCIL???

Never mind.

Jeff’s going to tally the votes.

The 5th person voted out of Survivor:Tocantins: Spencer.

“Spencer, the tribe has spoken.”

TWO WEEKS?!?!?! DAMN YOU, MARCH MADNESS!!!!

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